What do I do
With the first thought
That still belongs to you
When something still matters
Just not to you anymore
What do I do
With the words I would have said
The song I would have played
The thing I would have made
For you
Before I remembered
You stopped wanting the light
From me
There’s a grief
In becoming noise
In watching the things you used to adore
Turn sharp in your mouth
In watching my voice
My need
Become too much
So what do I do
When I built an empire for you
An empire of second chances
Late night apologies
Carefully placed words
The desperate architecture of almost making it work
What do I do
When you leave and I am still here
Holding up the walls
How long
Could we have called that love
How long
Could we keep mistaking damage
For devotion
How many times
Could we burn it down
And call the ash
A beginning
The part of me that knew
The part of me that stayed anyway
Maybe I held on too long
Maybe I made a kingdom
Out of needing you to choose me again
So what do I do
Without the version of me
Who knew how to survive you
What do I do
When the walls come down
What do I do
Without you
What do I do?