My first love
Blonde she was
The brightest smile
She laughed at the stupidest things
It was adorable
Her eyes, the portals to the soul
They were so innocent
So young
She hadn’t been hurt yet
She didn’t realize what it was going to be like
She didn’t know what the punishment for loving me was
I wrote her a poem once
It was about love undying
It was about everything I wanted to be for her
She melted
She loved it
It lifted her up
Made her feel special
I used to think that was my goal
To lift her up
Show her the world
Show her that she was as beautiful as I thought she was
That she was graceful in her own way
That her laugh was majestic
That her smile was the world
That her eyes were the definition of a beautiful soul
All that I wanted in the world was to lift her up
But in the end it wasn’t enough
I met another girl
She was vivacious
She was sly
She was hurt
She was everything I didn’t need
And I let it happen
I let her take my body
I let her take my soul
I let her ruin me
In being ruined, I ruined another
I started drifting away
I started distancing myself from her
I acted like I didn’t want to be around her
I lied to her
Told her that we just weren’t meant to be
That sometimes life just pulled you apart
I did not tell her that I was corrupt
That my faith had faltered
That love just wasn’t enough
And I look back to where it all started
The innocent flirting
Holding hands nervously
The awkward first kiss
Her soul laid bare in the look of her eyes
The looks when she couldn’t hide what she felt
The pain when she realized I was pushing her away
It was all my fault
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First love
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